


Not as it Seems

by Batfamilyforever



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Bat Family, Depression, Family Bonding, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-07-22 23:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7458058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batfamilyforever/pseuds/Batfamilyforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim wants to believe more than anything that it can get better. That it will get better. But everyone reaches their breaking point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tim sat at the bat computer after a long night,of dealing with the scum of Gotham, typing his report trying to ignore the pain coming from the bullet wound Red Hood inflicted a few nights ago; something about his comment being condescending, how asking if he needed help was such But it wasn’t surprising that anything Tim said came across that way as that was the only thing Red Hood believed. Even so Tim tried to tread lightly when in Jason’s company as he had only recently returned home and Tim didn’t want to ruin the fragile alliance and all the hard work Bruce, Dick, and Alfred had accomplished. So usually Tim backed down from every fight and kept every comment to himself. Tim did try and move past their history and befriend or at least work with Hood but Jason didn’t have the same idea. 

While in thought a motorcycle pulled up and off stepped the most loved brother wearing his black and blue costume. Pulling his helmet off he walked over and offered Tim a smile that could have shone like the real sun, lighting up anyone it was directed at. 

“Hey Timmy!” Dick jumped onto the counter next to the computer and started swinging his legs back and forth like a little kid. If any grown man could pull off looking like such it was Dick. 

“Mmhh” Was the only response Tim gave as he tried to finish the report before Dick could interrupt again and probable drag him away from his work. Not that he didn’t love Dick but his over clinginess and constant need to supervise his younger siblings tended to get out of hand. He also wanted to finish before Jason came back as a confrontation between Tim and his predecessor always ended in injuries of some sort. Luckily Bruce and the little demon were out off world for a league mission. 

Now Tim wasn’t afraid of what Jason would do to him and Tim knew he could usually hold his own against the larger male but it was the damage that would be done to his family every time Tim fought with Jason or Damian. The disappointment from Bruce, the exhaustion from Alfred, and the pain and sadness from Dick as seeing the brothers fight. 

That was why it was in everyone’s best interest that they avoid each other; not that Jason or Damian try to avoid him because they get pleasure in causing him pain. For months Tim has hidden the bruises from the other three or makes up some story as to where they came from; which is not hard considering their night job and ever since Damian became Robin Tim was left to patrol on his own usually as Dick didn’t like to leave his two more volatile brothers alone. 

“So Timmy what have you been up too? I never see you anymore.” Dick’s smile got a little smaller but Tim didn’t miss the pain that hid behind it. Dick knew why Tim didn’t spend as much time as the manor anymore and he wished there was something he could do to make his brothers get along. 

“Same old stuff.” Tim never gave detailed answers to anyone as he believed they were asking only to be polite and usually the simple reply was enough for most people. Of course Dick was the one person that rule didn’t apply to as he usually kept bugging until he got a detailed summary. 

Tim finished his report and as he turned around to head up to the manor to try and get any amount of sleep before the meeting tomorrow morning at WE. But before he could take more than two steps Dick spoke out. 

“Tim I know it has not been easy for you the past few months but at least it has gotten better. Both Jason and Damian are really improving and at least they aren’t physically attacking you anymore I know if you spend more time with them here it will really help.” Of course Dick had no idea about the gunshot wound and Tim had no plan on ever telling him. 

“Right because that would be the safest option. Who doesn’t want to spend time with people who want them dead?” 

“Tim.” Dick smile had become even smaller as he tried to defend his absent brothers but still be empathetic towards the one in front of him. As he knew Jason and Damian had not made it easy with not ever really being remotely nice or even pleasant to Tim. But they had both been through so much.

“ Look Dick I know you want us to all get along and I’m trying but it takes effort from both sides to make this work and let’s face it even you can see how much Jason and Damian hate me. Nothing is going to change that.” Tim face darkened and a pain from another source started to afflict him. It’s not like he didn’t want to get along with his family especially since he never really had one growing up. But there is no way to make some like you if they are determined to hate you. 

“I know those two can be difficult but if you just spend some positive time together it would really help them see how much of an amazing person you are.” 

Not wanting to argue with Dick anymore over a discussion that has been going on for years Tim turned around and headed for the manor; he just wanted to sleep and not have to think about his murderous siblings. Before he made it too far Dick catches up and grabs Tim’s wrist. 

“Tim wait…” But before Dick can finish the sentence Tim rips his arm free and backs up a few more steps. Dick gives Tim a confused look as Tim body tenses. 

“Tim?” Dick becomes concerned at seeing Tim tense up and fear flash across his face for a second. It doesn’t take a genius like Bruce, Tim or Barbara to figure out what caused such a reaction. 

“You know I am not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you little brother.” It is impossible to ignore the seriousness in Dick’s voice as he relaxes his body to show Tim he isn’t going to try anything. But the concern never leaves his face. 

“I know.” Tim does know but in the back of his mind he can’t help not believing it as two of his ‘brothers’ have already tried to put him in the ground. Tim doesn’t relax his body at all. 

Before either brother can continue the conversation another motorcycle rolls up next to Nightwing’s and off climbs Red Hood. Seeing this as the perfect time to leave Tim runs up the steps to the manor so fast the Flash would be jealous. Leaving his worried oldest brother looking at the spot where he just stood.


	2. Chapter 2

Dick stood looking at the spot Tim was just standing feeling that things were worse than he first thought. He knew that things had not bene easy for any of them, especially Tim, but he honestly thought it was just a little road block. Dick just wanted his family to be whole again. Before he could worry about it anymore Jason walked over. 

“What’s up Dicky? You spacing out?” Jason had pulled off his signature hood. Even though his relationship with the family had been rough for years after coming back to life it was slowly getting better; he wasn’t trying to kill all the members of his adopted family and could at least talk to Bruce now. 

“Nothing. How about we have a bonding movie night you, me, and Tim!” Trying to not to show any of his concern for Tim as Jason is still very hostile towards Tim. But he was not going to let his quietest brother get away that easy. 

“As much fun is it to have bonding time with our little family I’ll have to pass.” Just because he could stand a few of them doesn’t mean he wanted to spend bonding time together. They continued up the stairs to get some food. This night job was hungry work. Upon entering the kitchen they see the family’s beloved butler. 

“Master Dick and Jason how was the evening? Hopefully uneventful.” Alfred was the foundation of the family, without him it would crumble so quickly. Not to mention they would probably starve without his exceptional food. Alfred was also the only one that never judged or forced any of the family members; he let them be themselves and for that they were forever grateful. 

Dick offered a loving smile to one of his long time caretakers. Alfred had raised Bruce and helped Bruce raise all of his wards afterwords; all of the children saw him as a small piece of heavenly relief from the world around them. 

“No it was pretty boring.” Said between bites of cookie 

“Yea just your normal scumbag trash” 

“That is good to hear. I appreciate the nights that you boys don’t need to be sown together.” 

 

After having evaded a confrontation with Jason, Tim had bid Alfred a quick goodnight not even staying for the world’s best cookies. He had already showered and was getting ready for bed; hoping to be asleep before Dick came up and started asking questions. Tim lifted his shirt and looked at the sown up bullet wound and the countless bruises that littered his body (most of which were compliments of Damian). The more recent ones coming from his carelessness the last few nights. It was not that Tim was one for self-harm, he didn’t cut himself, or was he a masochist and not that he would admit it but the bruises from enemies, or family, seemed to help him release some of the pent-up pain. Feeling like the physical pain could take away some of the mental; if only for a moment.

Now he was starting to regret this way of thinking as he poked his ribs and pain erupted through his chest (some of his ribs were definitely fractured). Tim sighed knowing he would have to be more careful to make sure his family didn’t find out. Speaking of which he told Stephanie he would call her when he got back but sent her a text instead of how he would call tomorrow after work. 

As Tim crawled into bed to get a few hours of sleep before he went to WE with Bruce he couldn’t help but think about how there was some exhaustion that sleep can’t help with. 

 

The light of the next morning shown through the tiny crack between the curtains with the alarm blaring to his right. Tim pushed himself off his stomach and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching for the alarm clock (trying not to throw it against the wall). The red numbers of 6 a.m. flashed on the screen and Tim groaned. Rubbing both hands through his hair he stood and walked over to the bathroom to get ready for a long day. 

As he finished fixing his tie he walked out of his room. Directly across the hall from him was Dick’s room of course with the door closed it meant he was not in (Dick always left the door slightly open when he visited to let his brothers know they were welcome.). Next to Tim’s room on the left was Jason’s room with a faint snoring being heard. No one besides Alfred was ever allowed in there and no one besides Dick ever really tried to go in there. On the right of Dick was Damian’s room the one room Tim actively avoided like the plague; not that he was afraid of the little demon spawn but anytime the youngest two brothers were in the same room together it always ended badly. Lastly was Bruce’s room a few down from Damian’s (of course the little brat would get the closest room to Bruce but still be near Dick. Bruce’s room was probably the largest but least used. 

As Tim walked down the hall and the stairs to the common dining room where most of the family meals were eaten. As he walked into the room a feeling of dread filled him as he saw Dick, Bruce, Alfred, and Damian. Bruce and Alfred weren’t a problem but Dick could start question from last night and Damian would most likely try to start something. The only thing that made it better was that Jason wasn’t awake yet. 

Being a bat Tim didn’t show any of the discomfort he was feeling and just sat down. 

“Morning Timmy!”. Dick’s perkiness never seeming to fade.

“Hhmm.” Tim was not a perky person by nature and the fact that he didn’t have any coffee yet was not in the mood to deal with his childish brother. 

“Good morning Master Tim. Hopefully you had a good night sleep.” Alfred asked as he offered him his typical breakfast of oatmeal and fruit. Of course no one could ever not smile and feel better around Alfred. 

“I got enough. I’ll be better after some coffee.” 

“Timmy you really should wean yourself off of that. You’re an addict.” 

“Tt of course Drake would need assistance to be able to function this early in the morning.” Up until now Damian had ignored Tim’s presence, like he normally did, but anytime an opportunity to but Tim down arose Damian jumped at the chance. 

“Funny seeing how you’re addicted to getting Dick’s or Bruce’s approval all the time.” Even though Tim was more level headed and didn’t normally rise to the bait set before him, today was just not his day.  
“Boys that’s enough. Tim finish your breakfast and we are meeting Lucius at 7:30.” Bruce, like Tim, was not completely functional in the morning, as he was a night owl all the way, and was not in the mood to deal with the arguments of his sons. 

 

Luckily for Tim the day passed quickly and got slightly better with his one on one time with Bruce. Not that he would ever admit it but he still worshiped the ground Bruce walked on and would do anything to gain his approval. But he had to be careful not to let his pain from his abdomen show (which was hard to do around the world’s greatest detective). 

By the time Bruce and Tim returned to the manor they had a few hours to relax (not that any of them ever did) before patrol. Tim went straight to his room to text Steph like he promised. 

Hey Steph

Sup boy wonder decide to finally contact your best friend.

Sorry I didn’t mean to forget 

I’m just kidding you dork. Btw did you take care of your ribs?

Yea 

Tim you better not be lying!

Steph I know how to take care of myself. 

No. No you don’t Tim. You constantly forget to eat and sleep on a regular basis!

Steph I promise I am fine. I won’t wither away. 

You better not. Who would eat waffles with me and vent about life. Lol

They continued talking about the most random things as they always did. Tim had no idea how he would survive without one of his best friends. She always brought light into his world; which he was always grateful for. But as much as he would be willing to tell her anything he could not bring himself to mention his real situation; he couldn’t bare to look that weak in front of her. 

After hours of talking to Steph he headed downstairs to get ready for tonight. Of course the night was just as unlucky as his morning because Dick, Jason, and Damian were in the cave too. 

Sighing, Tim walked down the rest of the stone steps planning to quickly get ready and leave. But his brothers had others ideas. 

“Hey Timmy there you are!” Just like over 12 hours ago Dick still had a cheerful smile on. Jason and Damian both stopped conversation to glare at the smallest Robin when he finally joined them.

Though they would never admit it but when they stopped throwing death threats, Jason and Damian had something things in common. One of which was their dislike/hatred of Tim.

“I was thinking we could pair up. Maybe you and Jason and me and Dami.” Dick would never suggest Damian and Tim as only one of them would probably make it home. At least with Jason he knew it would upset Dick if he hurt Tim. 

“Why do I have to be paired with the replacement?” 

“Thanks but I’m fine on my own.” 

“What you think your too good to pair up me?!” Jason took a large step to get in Tim’s face and Tim tensed his body to get ready for whatever may come. But before things could escalate Dick stepped in. 

“Chill out Jason you were the one just saying how you didn’t want to be paired up.” Not missing how Tim tensed again as if getting ready for a beat down; it broke Dick’s heart to see his little brothers so at odds. 

Jason huffed, crossed his arms and walked away; Damian had left long ago to get ready caring so little for the outcome of the situation. 

“Ignore him Tim. He’s just pissy because he and Bruce got into an argument.” 

“Sure” Tim watched Jason walk away and couldn’t help get a little depressed that his childhood hero hated him so much. 

Tim waited until his brothers left until he decided to get ready and leave himself. After several declines to team up Tim promised Dick to call immediately if he needed help before Nightwing left with Robin; Red hood had left alone shortly after their altercation. 

Standing on top of a large sized building, Red Robin could see a good portion of the city and in a weird sort of way it was calming (something only a person born in Gotham could understand). To be out here and feeling like he could just disappear from the problems and stress his life brought him. Luckily the night had been busy enough for the others that no one really bothered him. 

The night had been fairly average for Red Robin, with a few robberies, a dozen or so muggings, and a really boring encounter with the Riddler; Red Robin was about to call it a night. When a squad of cop cars chased a getaway car down the road right below him. 

Sighing he jumped from rooftop to rooftop to catch up and luckily got there in time for the shoot out to begin between the cops and criminals. Dropping down next to a middle age cop behind the cop car Red Robin asked about the situation as the bullets continue to fly.

“Bunch of arrogant brats from a local gang. Thought it would be fun to bust into the largest bank in Gotham and thought they would not get caught.” 

Of course Red Robin was not the only one to hear the commotion. Shortly after his arrival Nightwing, Robin, and Red Hood all dropped behind the same cop car as Tim.  
“Seems like someone needs to teach those little shits a lesson.” Red Hood smirked as his pulled his guns from the holsters. 

“Hood we need to try talking to them before we… Hood!” Jason didn’t see the need to continue to listen to the boring speech Dick was sure to spew so decided to get a head start. 

Frowning Dick jumped over the cop car after his oldest younger brother not wanting him to go in alone; at this point the group of criminals had doubled in size. Not one to be left out Robin followed Nightwing into the fray. 

Sighing, as much he disliked and distrusted two of his three brothers, Tim didn’t want any of them to get hurt ( yes even Damian). But it was harder to keep up and fight off the gang with the consistent pain of his ribs. Which would end up costing him dearly. 

As he was getting ready to take down his fifth gang member a strong force hit him upside the head; hard enough that he fell to one knee. As he quickly stood and turned to deal with the idiot that thought it was smart to physically attack a Bat. But his injured ribs caused s slowdown of his movements. So he was not able to react fast enough before he felt a searing pain from his left shoulder and turned his head to see that a second scumbag had stabbed him in the shoulder blade; right behind his heart. 

Tim’s vision began to get hazy as he fell to his hands and knees. 

“Red Robin!!” Tim could barely turn his head to look to see Nightwing rushing over to him before he collapsed on the ground. Overhead he could still hear the voices and gunshots as it got harder to stay awake. 

Falling to his knees beside Tim, Dick quickly began assess his little brothers injury; unfortunately it was bleeding profusely. Robin finished the gang members where he and Nightwing just stood and Red Hood had moved closer to the pair to keep anyone else away. 

“Sorry Wing.” 

“Don’t apologize little brother you’re gonna be just fine. I just need you to stay awake.” Dick forced a small smile as he held Tim as he tried to slow the bleeding. Damian had called Batman but from the severity of this injury Dick felt like he would not make it in time. 

But Tim knew it was a near impossible request to ask as he felt his eyelids get heavier. Tim was always looking for a cure to the emotional pain that followed him these past few months and he always knew that this job would most likely be the death of him but he wasn’t ready yet. But that didn’t seem to matter has he finally gave into the darkness calling him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is surviving through this awful time and will never forget all those lives lost and sacrificed on 9/11. Stay strong and always love each other!

I hope everyone is surviving through this awful time and will never forget all those lives lost and sacrificed on 9/11. Stay strong and always love each other!

Tim could barely hear the noise around him as he felt strong arms lift him from the ground and hear yelling in the distance before feeling like he was traveling really fast. When coming to a stop, cracking his eyes open, he glanced over to see a large man in a dark costume.

"It's going to be okay Tim." The man said in a deep voice as he carried Tim over to a table were Tim's blurry vision saw an older male waiting.

Why was he saying the Tim would be alright? Was he hurt? Oh yeah, he was stabbed. He was probably going to die. But for some reason Tim was not as upset as he should be. It actually felt right, like it was the only thing that could take away his never ending stress and exhaustion. It would probably make Jason and Damien very happy, along with being one less person Bruce, Dick, and Alfred had to look after. Though he was going to miss the few friends he had, especially Steph. Knowing her she will find a way to bring him back just to kill him herself.

As the pair rushed around hooking machines up to Tim and stripping the costume off, Tim slowly let the darkness consume him again.

As Alfred and Bruce were preparing for surgery, since Leslie was out of the country, three more bikes halted to a stop in the cave and Nightwing ran over to Tim as he lay bleeding to death; there was so much blood, probably from an artery.

"How is he?!" Dick ran right over to his side, the distress clear on his face and in his voice, and held an unconscious Tim's hand. Jason and Damian for once keeping their comments to themselves. But standing oddly close to the table were their brother lay.

Before anyone could respond the heart monitor began to slow down enough until it flat lined and the only sound in the cave was the machines. But of course being bat's that lasted about 2 seconds before Bruce took action.

Grabbing the heart jumpers he began to restart Tim's heart as the others watched Tim's chest raise with every charge. Luckily in the last and final attempt his heart gave the tiny beats that showed signs of life. A breath of relief and gratitude washed over the group; even Jason and Damian were glad their brother survived. Even though they threaten bodily harm to him, neither wanted to have to bury a family member.

Dick on the other hand could not hold back all the emotion that flowed through him, as tears slowly fell from his eyes, since he watched Tim fall to his knees. He will never forget that look of watching the light slowly fade from his little brothers eyes. Even when Jason at died he was not actually witness to it and Dick was so glad for that because it was something no one should watch.

Now with Tim having been moved upstairs to his room, the rest of the family gathered in one of the family rooms. Everyone sat in silence, trying to recover from the near tragedy they almost faced.

"What happened tonight?" Bruce said in a voice that meant they should explain right now. He might not be the most present father around but he always keeps tabs on his children, what cases they are working, and what is happening in their lives.

"I honestly don't know Bruce. One minute we were taking down gang members and the next someone fired a gun and Tim is on the ground." Dick had yet to recover from the ordeal he experienced and it was clear in his deflated voice. Next to him Damian sat with his arms crossed and a neutral look.

"Maybe if Drake trained more he would not be taken down by some petty criminal."

"Don't act like you've never made a mistake or been hurt, brat!" Not that Jason would ever admit to defending Tim.

"Both of you stop." Bruce growled

"I just don't understand why Tim had such a hard time tonight, usually he could have handled the whole gang." Dick questioned.

"Tt it was probably from the injury to his ribs."

"You knew he was injured and didn't say anything you little shit!"

"Of course I didn't know, but only someone as incompetent as you Todd would not notice that Drake slowed his movements when he turned his abdomen." Even though Damien chose to ignore Tim most of the time, he was very attentive.

"Damien, when did you notice?" Bruce asked, disappointed in himself for not noticed such a small detail.

"About a week ago, father."

"Why did the Replacement not say anything?"

"Tim is always been one to prefer taking care of himself. He probably didn't want to feel like a burden." Bruce answered.

"True but now that you mention it Tim does seem more distant than usual. When I talked to him in the cave a few nights ago he was almost flinched away in fear, like I was going to hurt him. I also noticed that some other wounds on him and a bandage covering something up." Even noticing this, Dick was much too concerned with his brother surviving to worry about some bruise or a cracked rib.

It was with that statement that the realization of how Tim was really feeling and how bad the situation really was set in. It was no mystery as to why Tim reacted that way, and not that they would point fingers at each other but it did explain why Tim had been taking more solo missions, staying out longer, and not to mention that he of course looked like he lost weight from avoiding family meals. You would think that a group of detectives would notice such a thing sooner.

" We will have to wait until he wakes up to try and figure this out." Bruce stated before leaving the room with a frustrated scowl, with Jason a Damian following shortly after.

Dick continued wonder what was happening to his smartest brother and the possibility that things were much worse than what they seemed. Maybe it was not the best idea to have all of his brother's under one roof? Maybe he shouldn't have asked Tim to be so flexible and understanding?How could he not noticed before? What kind of older brother was he to not see a problem that was right in front of his face? Not that Tim would ever say no to a favor asked of him by Bruce or Dick. But that was one of the issues, Tim was never one to complain or whine.

Rubbing his face with his hands, Dick signed and stood to leave the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! School, work, and life are keeping me busy.


	4. Author Note

Sorry for the slow update!School and my two jobs are keeping me on my toes!

I have decided to update at least one or two stories a month just to make you guys happy! I am not sure which will be uploaded when but I will try and keep that routine. If there is a certain story you really want to see updated let me know and I can order them as such. As always keeping reviewing and let me know if you guys have any ideas!

Also thank you guys so much for liking this story as much as you do! I never thought it would do as well as it does. As always I appreciate all followers, kudos, and reviews!


	5. AN

Sorry for all the non-updates! I just wanted to let everyone know that I have re-written the end portion of chapter 3 after a very clear mistake was brought to my attention. So if you guys to re-read it and let me know what you think!


	6. Story Ideas

Hey! I was thinking of writing a new story and I wanted your guy’s opinion on which one would be the best! Also if you have any ideas of your own that you would really like to see, don’t be afraid to message me; no ideas are rejected!

\- The boys are kidnapped as civilians and tortured, with Tim taking the brunt of it.   
\- Funny one-shots about the Bat family  
\- AU where they are wolves. ( For this one I can make it so the story starts there or where they get transported and turned into wolves).   
\- AU where Tim grew up as an assassin. ( Once again I can make it where it is in the normal timeline but Tim just never became Robin, or I can make it so the Bat family gets transported to a world where Tim is that way).   
\- Helena meets Bruce and gets integrated into the family and their “night jobs”.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update this, but I hope you guys enjoy. If I don't have to time to say this, Happy Thanksgiving and good luck to those going Black Friday shopping!

Days and then weeks passes and Tim had yet to wake up. Continuing to sleep soundlessly in a bed that made him look even smaller than normal. 

Not to say that he was ever alone. Everyday someone would come check on him. Mostly Dick and Stephanie, after she learned what happened. Even Jason and Damian had come by every so often. But still it was not enough to make Tim wake up. 

 

Today it was Dick’s turn to come visit and he was never late. Upon walking into the room, he saw Stephanie sitting the custom chair next to Tim, reading him a book. Steph always knew exactly what Tim need and when he needed it and that’s why they are such best friends. Dick couldn’t help but feel a ping of jealously at the blonde for knowing his brother so well. How much of Tim’s life had he missed out on? How little did he know about his baby bird?

Of course, being a bat, Stephanie noticed right away when the door opened and Dick stood there watching without having to turn around. 

“You know staring it rude.” She closed the book and turned smirking. Even though she let the whole family (except for Alfred) have a piece of her mind when she found out about Tim’s condition. Stephanie couldn’t stay angry forever; this was her only family and family made mistakes. 

Dick offered a genuine, but tired smile before walking over. He realized that Jason and Damian are not the only two that need his love and attention. While Steph and Tim may not think, they want or need it, he is going to give it to them anyway. 

As soon as Dick had walked the short distance and stood in front of Stephanie, he pulled her into a massive bear hug; the ones he saves for family only. 

This of course took Steph by surprise as she wasn’t that close to Dick and only knew him through Tim and Barbara. But at the same time, it felt right to have this overgrown child hugging her. To feel all the love, he gives to everyone he meets. 

After a few minutes, surprisingly, they pulled apart and smiled at each other. 

“I know we have never been that close, but I hope that can change.” This instance with Tim made Dick realize that he only knows half of his family and that was about to change. 

“Yea, I’d like that.” Steph offered a smile that could almost rival his in brightness. Dick could see why Tim liked her so much. She was like a breath of fresh air. 

After having had their mini bonding moment, Steph let Dick take over. As he sat down to keep his brother company until later tonight, Dick couldn’t help but think about the time when Tim first became Robin and how angry Dick had been. 

How could Bruce take on another child? Put another one in danger; especially after Jason? But Tim was so different from both himself and Jason. He was cautious, calculating but he also had that childish light that every Robin possess in the beginning. A light, Dick realizes, that has long since faded from Tim’s eyes. When was the last time Tim took any time off? Laughed like no one was around. Just truly enjoyed life, without concern? When was the last time Tim was the kid he was supposed to be? 

Dick knew that when he took Damian as his Robin, that he was taking a chance on his and Tim’s relationship. What he did not expect was that Tim completely detach himself from all his friends and family and go on a crazy chase to prove that Bruce was still alive. 

A theory that Dick thought was insane and only further strained their relationship. Not to mention that Tim was in fact correct about Bruce and brought him home. The amount of guilt of not believing Tim during that time is something that Dick will never get rid of.

To make matters worse, Dick had the nerve to ask Tim to try and work with Damian and Jason as they were reincorporated into the family. How could Dick as that of Tim? After everything the former two had done to him. How much they had hurt him, when all Tim wanted was to get along. 

As Dick was having his deep guilt trip, a large shadow fell over him. Turning around he saw Jason leaning against the doorway. 

“Hey.” For once Jason didn’t have some snarky comment to fire. Ever since Tim got hurt weeks ago, the tension in the manor could be cut with a knife. No one was fighting with each other and everyone was holding their breath; waiting for Tim to wake up. 

“Hi.” Dick offered quietly; so, unlike him. After seeing that is was Jason, Dick turned back to Tim. 

“How’s he doing?” 

“Alfred says he’s stable and Leslie says it’s up to Tim now.” Dick brushed some hair away from the surprising childlike face. 

They sat in silence. Jason never leaving the doorway and Dick never asking him to come closer. 

“What if he doesn’t want to wake up?” Dick asked after a few minutes; the sadness leaking through in his voice. He could not lose another brother. 

“Dick don’t….” 

“I’m serious! What if we pushed him too far?” Dick turned so quick that you though his neck would snap. Gone was the happy, optimistic, goofy smile and in its place, was a look of someone who had been through so much heartache. 

“And I’m telling you that baby bird won’t do that! The kid might be reserved and seem depressed, but that is just his personality. He is way to stupor to die!” Jason yelled back as he walked closer to the bed where his brother lay. 

“Jason.” Dick had never him call Tim by anything other than some rude or threatening name. It was a pleasant and welcome surprise. Maybe there was still hope for their family yet. 

“I mean. Shit. I never hated the kid because he was him, but because I felt like Bruce was moving on from me. That I was just a name on the list.” Jason never opened about anything; only to Dick and Alfred. Jason looked down at his younger brother and for some bizarre reason he just wanted the kid to wake up and be alright. A kid who he had threatened to kill on multiple occasions and sometimes come very close.

As he was looking, Jason noticed bandages right above Tim’s right hip. A small bandage; for a small wound. Like a gun shot. 

It all dawned on Jason at that second; that was the wound he gave Tim a few nights before his accident. He was the reason Tim was too slow to react to that scumbag. He is the reason Tim is laying here like a vegetable. 

“Jay. Jason!” 

“Huh. What.” Jason broke his dazed stare from Tim and turned to Dick who was now standing by his side. 

“You okay? I called your name like 5 times.” 

“Yea. Just thinking.” Jason glanced back at Tim, and Dick could have sworn he saw a flash of guilt and anger rise in his oldest younger brother’s eyes. 

“How about we get some food. I’m starving.” Jason offered as he turned to leave. He just wanted to be out of this room and away from the source of his guilt. 

As Dick rambled about something or another, Jason swore that he was going to find the person, hell even the entire gang, that did this to Tim and return it full force. No one hurt his brother and got away with it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been way too long since I updated but I hope you guys truly enjoy and as always let me know what you think!

Damian stuck his head around the corner to see his brothers disappear down the staircase before looking over to Drake’s room. Damian walked over and entered his comatose brother’s room. As he walked over to the bed Damian noticed how peaceful Drake looked. Something that rarely shown on the older boys face; it was always either exhaustion, frustration, or stress. Not that Damian cared how the older boy was feeling. 

What he couldn’t understand was why the others were so worried about Drake? Drake was just pitifully weak and unskilled, nothing new. But for some reason there was this unrealized feeling of worry when he looked at his main competition. Yes, Grayson and Todd were both more bothersome in terms of physical competition but Drake was the one that came the closest to being like Father. Even closer than Damian himself had ever come. Even Grandfather seemed to believe that Drake was the perfect heir. But why? What made Drake so much better than him? He could do anything Drake could and do it better.

These thoughts only caused Damian to become angry once again towards the older boy as he thought of all the reason others believed Drake to be worthy. Not that Damian shared these opinions. 

While in thought, Damian failed to notice the heart monitor began to beep a little louder signaling that Tim’s heartbeat was speeding up, meaning he was gaining consciousness. After the 3 or 4 repeat of this Damian returned to his current situation to finally realize what was happening. Drake was waking up!

“Father! Pennyworth!” Damian pulled the door open and tried to gain the attention of someone that Drake would want to see. Upon hearing the sound of rushing footsteps, Damian looked over in time to see Drake start to open his eyes and panic of the feeling of the tube down his throat. Pennyworth had mentioned that it was to help his body focus on his injured heart instead of his bruised lungs and ribs.

“ Calm down Drake.” Said probably too harshly as Damian tried to stop him from removing the tube. Why he cared if Drake hurt himself was beyond him, he just knew that Pennyworth, father, Brown, and Grayson would be upset if Drake hurt himself while trying to recover.

Damian did not have to worry about the uncomfortable situation much longer as the remaining family members entered the room. Right away Bruce and Alfred rushed over to Tim and tried to calm him down as Dick headed over to Damian’s side. 

“ Tim you must calm down. The tube is merely there to help you.” Bruce, with hands on Tim’s shoulders to hold him down, calmly explained in hopes of getting his third son to lower his stress; stress the young man’s mind and body didn’t need right now. 

“ Would you like it removed Master Tim?” Alfred figured it was safe to remove for now. Tim rapidly shook his head; desperately wanted that awful thing out of his throat. As soon as it was removed, Steph was there to hand him a glass of water; Tim gave her a grateful look before chugging the precious liquid.   
“ How are you feeling?” Steph asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and moving the hair out of her best friends face. Tim looked over at her with eyes that were far too old and tired. 

“Like I was stabbed and run over by a bus.” Tim gently laid back against the pillows that were propping him up. Everyone in the room could finally see the not only exhaustion in his body but his voice as well. 

“ Well you are half right baby bird.” Dick chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. He was just glad that his younger brother was awake. Dick went to sit on the open side of the bed by Bruce. Damian still stood a few feet away and Jason now leaned against the doorway with arms crossed; but both looked at Tim with a hint of worry in their eyes. 

“ Do you remember what happened?” Always like Bruce to get straight to the point. Tim looked over at his adoptive father before looking at his lap. How could he tell his family, that had he had worried so much, that the reason he got injured was because he was purposely not being careful. There was no way he could take the level of disappointment that would come from that admission. Instead he began to pick at the blanket. 

“ Timmy?” Dick tried to draw his attention. Tim refused to look up. Dick was one of the few people he has respected from he was a kid but there is no doubt that if he made eye contact with the older male he would only see that sympathetic look that was common on his face. Noticing that this conversation was getting nowhere, Steph jumps in. 

“Fine if you don’t want to tell us about why what happened that night, what about your injured ribs?” Steph tried to be patient but was getting annoyed at her best friend shutting everyone out. She knew that something had been bothering him for a while and slowly it was wearing him away. He barely laughed anymore and gave way too many forced smiles. She knew that it was related to the new housing situations. 

Not even his closest friend could get Tim to openly explain as to why he having more injuries than normal. While Tim was not the best fighter in the family, he was far from incompetent in the field. It was just that lately this feeling of exhaustion was overpowering his life and the façade he put on for his family and friends was draining him of everything. 

Not to mention that announcing that his chest injuries were a result of a fight between himself and Jason would only cause problems with their delicate family situation. So instead of answering he continued to pick at the blanket. Steph sighed upon realizing that there was no way they were going to get an answer right now. 

“ How about some food.” Sensing the tension rising in the room, Alfred was quick to the rescue like always. Tim shot the faithful butler a truly grateful look for an escape from the current interrogation. As he began getting out bed, a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Looking up to see a concerned, but stern Alfred looking down at him. It was then that Tim knew that he was going to have very little time to himself in these coming weeks as he recovered. 

No words needed to be said as Tim settled back into bed; he would just have a wait until his family lessened the overprotective leash. Satisfied, Alfred left to get food for his young master. As soon as the elderly butler left the room, Bruce turned back to Tim with a stern glance.

“Timothy. Explain.” Bruce said in a no nonsense voice. Bruce knew the only way to get through to his second youngest was to order things from him. Bruce stood by Steph; opposite of Dick. While Jason remained by the door and Damian had at that point moved to stand by the window. Tim looked up at his adoptive father while resuming his picking of the sheets again. 

“There is nothing to explain. I made a mistake and got hurt. End of story.” Even though Tim was the quiet one of his family, that didn’t mean he was a push over. Bruce glared harder. 

“Tim.” Tim switched his gaze to his oldest brother and saw how miserable but desperate Dick was to know the truth. Dick reached out to his brother but stopped when he saw Tim tense. This literally broke his heart to know that his little brother was actually afraid of him. Of course this did not go unnoticed by the other family members. Realizing his mistake and knowing that no one would leave without some type of explanation. Sighing Tim looked back up at the massive mountain that was his father. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say?” Tim said finally letting the exhaustion take over his body. Before his accident, he only ever got 12 hours of sleep a week. 

“The truth Tim.” Steph was now glued to his side and giving him a look that said he better start explaining and fast. 

“At least tell house how you got that wound to your chest?” Steph pushed from a different angle. Tim tensed even more but before he could offer a response, Jason interrupted. 

“It’s from me.” At this all the occupants of the room looked at the largest former robin. 

“Explain.” The amount of fury in Bruce voice was surprising. Tim didn’t expect him to get this upset over a violent act Jason committed; it was practically his nature. Rather than argue, for once Jason followed Bruce’s request. 

“We ran into each other a few days before that big gang fight and I was pissed because I just found out I had a mole among my men. When the runt tried ask me what was wrong I just snapped. I don’t know what happened. I just saw red and next thing I know I am firing.” Jason never moved from his spot but the possible look of quilt briefly crossed his face. 

“Timmy why didn’t you say anything?” Dick gave the saddest, most puppy kicked look he could muster. 

“Would you have believed me?”

“Of course, we would of!” Dick couldn’t believe one of his baby brothers thought he would flat out not here his side of the story. But now that he thought of it how many fights have Jason and Damian started with Tim and Dick had just told him that he had to be more understanding. How many times had he brushed off Tim’s feeling and injuries as a causality of something better to come. At what point did the sweetest robin begin to become this traumatized child. Not traumatized from the scumbags but from his own family. 

Tim saw realization set in on Dick and he watched as his cheeriest brother became over whelmed with grief. Tim sighed again. Where was Alfred when he really needed him. Realizing the butler was not going to come to his rescue anytime soon. 

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how to explain because I don’t completely understand myself. I just know that I am tired. All the time. At first it was just minor bouts of depression and exhaustion. But over time it seemed to become something more and I didn’t tell you about the fight between me and Jason because I didn’t want to be the reason that he left. Not after you all tried so hard to get him back” Tim rushed out as he avoided eye contact with everyone. Of course he knew his family well enough to know how they were reacting. Dick probably still had that guilt-ridden expression, with Steph somewhere between anger and sympathy, Bruce was probably had a calculating look trying to figure out how he missed this, Jason and Damian most likely had either annoyance or indifference. 

“Tim.” Bruce said in a tone that meant look at him. Tim continued to stare off at the blanket. 

Timothy.” Coming out s more forceful. Luckily this was enough to gain a reaction. Tim looked up to see that he had been right about most of his family’s reaction. But shockingly Jason had a look of fury on his face and decided to share that emotion out loud. 

“ What the fuck is wrong with you!” Jason’s glare could but Bruce’s to shame.

“Jason.” Dick reprimanded. 

“ So you just were going through all this shit and decided to not come to anyone. What did you think you could fix this with some research and coffee! I get why you didn’t say anything about our tussle but what about all the other stuff!” The more he spoke the angrier he got. He had seen firsthand what depression can do to someone and sure they were not close, but how did that stop Tim from going to another family member? 

“Jason that’s enough.” Bruce turned to his second oldest . 

“No, why should I drop it. This little shit worried everyone…” 

“ Why do you even care?” Tim angrily interrupted. This caused everyone to surprising glance at the once docile boy. 

“You should be jumping for joy that I almost died. It would have saved you and Damian endless amounts of work!” Tim was all but yelling at this point, not seeming to care that his injuries were screaming in pain. While any other family would have probably had either backed down or felt guilty. Not Jason, if anything this just angered him. In response Jason angrily stalked over to Tim and grabbed him by the front of the shirt and pulled him from bed.

“Jason!” Everyone, except for Damian, yelled. Tim just glared as his brother. 

“ Listen well you little fuck because I am only going to say this once! I was never trying to kill or hurt you because you were you!” The room froze and all anger left Tim’s face. 

“What?” 

“ Shit! I don’t know. I was just pissed off with that asshole!” Jason lets go of Tim to point at Bruce. Everyone just stood/sat in an uncomfortable silence as the painful past issue of the family was brought up. 

“Timmy, no one here would intentionally try and hurt you.” Dick looked back with an expression begging for him to believe them. It broke his heart to think that his sweetest baby brother thought of himself as an outsider with his family. That he had been suffering for so long alone. 

“Right, because I am sure when Damian and I first met it was because he loved me.” Tim rolled his eyes at his oldest brother’s comment. Another well-known fact in the family was the deep hatred the two youngest seemed to have for each other. The couldn’t be left alone in a room together for more than 5 minutes without a fight breaking out. Before Dick could rebut Damian finally interrupts. 

“Of course, I fought with you, you were my competition. I planned on annihilating all of you.” Tim just held his arm out in a ‘you see’ like way. Dick just sighed.   
“But I fought the most with you Drake because you are….my most difficult opponent. You have since provide your worth and I can understand the value father and Grayson have in you.” At this Damian looked away. Almost 100% sure that his family was wearing looks of surprise from his admission. 

Tim was speechless. That was the closest Damian had ever come to even remotely complimenting him. 

“Wow, so you do have a heart kid.” Steph laughed

“ Don’t patronize me Brown. You are still quite useless. You and Todd” Steph just laughed. Jason just rolled his eyes and grossed his arms. Dick sighed and rubbed his eyes. At this point Bruce had walked over to Tim. 

“Tim.” Tim looked up at his towering father and saw something rarely in his eyes; burning love. The kind that only exist between a family. Between a parent and child. Bruce gently grabbed Tim’s face, cupping it is his giant hands. 

“You are a part of this family and always will be. Nothing you or anyone else could do will ever change that. You will always belong right here with us. Always.” Bruce was the definition of emotional constipation and yet he had told Tim exactly what he always wanted to hear from his adoptive father. From his hero. 

Now none of the bats were weak by any means; whether that be physically or emotionally. But Tim couldn’t help the tears that started to fall from his baby blue eyes. Bruce just silently wiped them away. Tim didn’t seem to care that his brothers and best friend were seeing him in such a state; he was just happy to be the center of Bruce attention for a short period of time. 

At that moment, Alfred had finally returned. Knowing him the sneaky butler was probably ready 30 minutes ago, but decided to let the family work out their problems.   
“Apologies for the wait master Tim, would you like your breakfast now?” Alfred offered a loving smile as the embarrassed boy turned away to wipe the remnants of the tears away. 

“Yeah. Thanks Alfred.” As Alfred sat the tray of food on the bed and Tim sat down the others made their way to the door thinking that they had bothered him enough this morning. 

“Wait.” Tim shyly stopped his family from leaving. As they turned back to him he looked up with a slight blush for what was surly going to make him sound like a needy child. 

“Stay and eat with me.” As the words left his mouth he thought he would get a couple of annoyed and sympathetic reactions. Instead he got ones of happiness and joy. 

“Sure, thing baby bird.” Jason was the first to plop down next to Tim on the bed, with Steph following right after word on the other side of Tim and immediately grabbing for his food; Tim slapped her hand away and ignored her hurt puppy look. Dick smiled so big that Tim though his face would break as the oldest child came to sit in front of him with his legs crossed, pulling Damian with him. Damian stopped right before getting on the bed. As if this was a dangerous, uncharted territory. Tim noticed the youngest discomfort before offering a reassuring smile; that seemed to be enough for the mini assassin as he climbed next to the oldest. 

Alfred left to bring more food and Bruce looked over to his children (yes he saw Steph as an unadopted child and was secretly protective of her too). Though he would never admit it aloud he was proud beyond belief of them; he couldn’t have asked for better partners. Just seeing them finally all getting all along fulfilled one of his biggest wishes and he couldn’t stop the genuine smile that made its way across his face. 

“Uhh guys. I am worried. Bruce is smiling.” Steph pointed out with a humorous smile. Tim rolled his eyes playfully before shoving her with his shoulder.   
“You going to just stand there like a creeper old man?” 

“ Yeah Bruce come on over!” Dick begged. Bruce came over and sat in the chair off to the side just as Alfred brought a massive tray full of food over and Jason got up to bring Alfred a chair. 

As the family ate, they laughed and teased each other and Tim couldn’t help but know that it would get better. With his family and friends around him, he could survive anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And that is the end! Thank you all so much for your support and reviews. I never expected it to as liked as it was and hopefully you will enjoy my other stories as well!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because of personal experience and I'm sure everyone has gone through at one time or another. You don't have to be harming yourself or suicidal to deserve help and love. You should be loved for just being alive and remember that no matter what struggles you go through never give up on yourself because you are worth so much more than you believe yourself to be. Society has taught us that the approval and acceptance of others is the only love that truly matters but they couldn't be further from the truth; the love you give yourself is worth more than all the money, jewels, and possessions in the world. I know it is hard and seems impossible most days but always keep fighting not for others but for yourself!!!
> 
> It won't be as dark as it sounds. I hope you enjoy!


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